Have you ever wondered why you don’t have the success you want and don’t live the life you dreamed of or dream of? Haven’t you worked hard enough? Didn’t you put in enough effort? Didn’t you have the necessary intelligence? Did you not have the right parents? You weren’t born in the right country? Why? Or… Maybe because this is not really your dream.
In order to understand what we are talking about, let’s be brutally honest, both with life but especially with ourselves. What does success mean? Both here on the Carpathian plains, but also in other lands, success is equivalent to having a boatload of money, optionally fame and/or a beautiful family and being able to do what you want with your time, that is, freedom.
And I, much like yourself, wanted that and I got the big majority. I finished a high-school with a diploma for teaching kindergarten and school children until 4th grade, and then graduated from medical school and became a doctor, later I went abroad, I met a wonderful man who loves me and whom I married, I have a fantastic child and I invested well in a passive income, which allows me not to work, if I don’t want to and to live relatively decent, without extravagance. But what do you see… To my surprise, I didn’t feel happy and fulfilled.
Okay, you could argue that I should have collected more money, or have more children, possibly a lover or two but… Why should I have more from what I already have, when what I have doesn’t make me happy?
In other words, I checked all the boxes in the recipe for success and still I wasn’t happy. So, after allowing myself to wallow in the pool of depression for a few weeks, I began to read to discover what was the reason for the state I was in. You could say that I should have gone to a fellow psychiatrist, but even though I am a doctor, I do not like tablets and prescribe and take only the absolutely necessary ones. I started looking for other points of view and they all brought me to the following conclusion: I have to evolve.
Ok, being a very structured person in thinking, when I’m not making a detour mind wandering through the fields, I started with the existing definitions. Hmm… Evolution means progress, change, transformation, diversification. But… wait a minute… Do I mean to change something in my relationship?! It’s impossible, this man loves me and I love him too! Another child?! God forbid, I have the impression that I’m messing it up with the one I have! Professional? Alas! In which field should I change my profession? I finished high-school with a teaching diploma and I didn’t like the educational system, I’m a doctor and, although I don’t agree with the system, I enjoy my job. What should I start with? What to do?
So I started looking for other points of view.
Being in a deplorable mental state, salvation came from a friend who asked me some questions: Listen, do you love your husband? Obvious! What about the child? Of course! But do you love yourself? Hmm… Yes,… kind of…
Whoops! Where did that come from?
And that’s how I quit my job and started a journey in search of self-love and evolution through the plains and ranges mentioned above.
To be continued…
